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How women and men shower!

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Ever notice how different men and women are? Of course, every field engineer has been perplexed by the gender differences. Take showering, for instance.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN

  1. Carefully remove off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
  2. Walk into bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
  3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror. Make mental note: Must do more sit-ups.
  4. Get into shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofer, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
  5. Wash your hair in Cucumber Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
  6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner, enhanced with Avocado oil. Leave on hair 15 minutes.
  7. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes, until red.
  8. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Java Cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. You must make sure that it has all come off.
  9. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area, bit decide to get it waxed instead.
  10. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you lose the water pressure.
  11. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
  12. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
  13. Wrap your hair in super absorbent second towel.
  14. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit. Tweeze hairs.
  15. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
  16. If you see your husband along the way, cover any exposed areas, then sashay to the bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN

  1. Remove clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed. Leave them in a pile on the floor.
  2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her, making woo-woo sound.
  3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs.
  4. Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror and scratch your ass.
  5. Get into the shower. Don't bother looking for a washcloth... You don't use one.
  6. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
  7. Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water wash it off.
  8. Crack up at how loud your farts sound in the shower.
  9. Majority of time is spent washing privates and surrounding area.
  10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs on the soap bar.
  11. Shampoo your hair. Do not use conditioner. Make a shampoo Mohawk hairdo.
  12. Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror again. 13. Pee (in the shower). Rinse off and get out of the shower. 14. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.
  13. Partially dry off. Look at yourself in the mirror. Flex muscles. Admire the wiener size again.
  14. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor. Leave bathroom fan and light on.
  15. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife along the way pull off towel shake wiener at her making the "woo-woo" sound again.
  16. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed.
Created by admin
Last modified Tuesday, Sep-27-2005 12:14 PM
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