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Bill Lynn (FEP-1968) Finally Gets Hitched!

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Having been recently married himself, Rob Sigond (FEP-1978) decides it is his duty to bring Bill Lynn up to speed regarding the secrets of married life just prior to the special day.
Dear Soon-to-be-Henpecked,

Sorry I missed your wake, I mean send off party. I was in Houston acting as an agent for the Mexico RCT. Actually, I was glad I wasn't there as I don't think I could bear to watch a group of my so-called friends celebrate the last vestige of male freedom biting the dust. You were my hero and it was only my weakness that prevented me from following in your footsteps.

And now that the old bull is finally too old to keep up the fight, who will be your successor? Will you hand off to Ed DeRossi? Surely he is deserving. But how many good years does he have left? I thought you might be looking to a younger bull. But, the first candidate that entered my mind was Rich Rivera and I abandoned that possibility as fast as I thought of it.

So, ole Bill, to whom will you pass the scepter to keep the light of freedom burning? I know this is a heavy burden you carry and with planning for the execut...I mean marriage, you might not be up to the task of finding a successor. But think of those of us who have survived by looking to you, as our leader for the strength to go on. Pete Pohl would probably kill himself. Mike McBride (FEP-1978) would assuredly become morose at the least. Lou Melograna might give up drinking and we would lose yet another shining star in the list leaders that help us go on. Ellen Smith could get Jack Welch's job if you do not do your duty. I think that alone should give you the grit to find that one true man, with the strength to love'em and leave'em till the day he takes his last breath.

At least you can take solace in knowing that you did your best (and better than most) in keeping the light of freedom lit.

There are a few changes that you should be aware of as you enter into the world of marriage.

- First, don't be surprised when your wife walks into the bathroom while you are shaving in the morning, mumbles good morning and then proceeds to take a dump while you are standing there.

- You are also going to find out that your lovely new bride, picks her nose, scratches her ass, farts, burps and on certain occasions, after a lengthy session of yard work or similar physical exertion, will take on an aroma similar to that of a bowl of Campbell's Soup.

- The texture of her smooth skin will be more like that of 80 grit sandpaper, since now that she is married, she only has to shave once a week.

- And when she does shave, she will use your razor to shave her legs and armpits. This is usually something she does when you are not around, but it will be obvious to you because you will only get one good shave from a new blade from now on and when you do use your razor, for some reason you will always be reminded of your old gym locker in high school.

- You will get to see her sit in front of the TV with a big white glob of what looks like RTV on her upper lip as she bleaches her mustache. I'll bet you didn't even know that she had one, did you?

- Finally, for some reason, (this never seems to happen when you are dating), once the vows are taken, you will never sleep soundly again, because whatever she did to prevent this in the past will cease and you will find that she snores like a bull moose with sinus problems.

But, having had the strength to remain single all these years, I am sure you can get past these minor inconveniences and find true happiness with your betrothed... yeah, right!

I wish you and your bride all the best with a happy and prosperous life together.

Hang in there, Billy.

Rob
Created by admin
Last modified Wednesday, Mar-15-2006 04:33 AM

Bill Lynn Gets Hitched!

Posted by dlucier at Saturday, Mar-10-2007 04:37 AM
Bill Lynn, at the tender age of 52, got hitched (circa 1996 or 1997).

When Dave Lucier decided to remarry in 1989, the ceremony (wedding and reception) was held at the Giddeon Putnam hotel in Saratoga State Park, Saratoga Springs,NY. FEP's should know the place because Saratoga Performing Arts Center (SPAC) is nearby and they've probably been to concerts there (sober, of course).

When Bill heard that Dave was taking the plunge a second time, he suggest that he sky dive into the park carrying a sign reading: "DAVE, DON'T DO IT!" However, Bill chickened out and decided against it for fear he'd get arrested for such an off-course jump into a NY State park. Denny Meyer and Rob Sigond, both FEP grads in attendance of the wedding, were encouraging him to do it. Charlie Pond (FEP-1978) was Bill's jump pilot.

Bill Lynn Gets Hitched!

Posted by dlucier at Saturday, Mar-10-2007 04:38 AM
Bill Lynn, at the tender age of 52, got hitched (circa 1996 or 1997).

When Dave Lucier decided to remarry in 1989, the ceremony (wedding and reception) was held at the Giddeon Putnam hotel in Saratoga State Park, Saratoga Springs, NY. FEP's should know the place because Saratoga Performing Arts Center (SPAC) is nearby and they've probably been to concerts there (sober, of course).

When Bill heard that Dave was taking the plunge a second time, he suggest that he sky dive into the park carrying a sign reading: "DAVE, DON'T DO IT!" However, Bill chickened out and decided against it for fear he'd get arrested for such an off-course jump into a NY State park. Denny Meyer and Rob Sigond, both FEP grads in attendance of the wedding, were encouraging him to do it. Charlie Pond (FEP-1978) was Bill's jump pilot.

Bill Lynn Gets Hitched!

Posted by dlucier at Saturday, Mar-10-2007 04:39 AM
Bill Lynn, at the tender age of 52, got hitched (circa 1996 or 1997).

When Dave Lucier decided to remarry in 1989, the ceremony (wedding and reception) was held at the Giddeon Putnam hotel in Saratoga State Park, Saratoga Springs, NY. FEP's should know the place because Saratoga Performing Arts Center (SPAC) is nearby and they've probably been to concerts there (sober, of course).

When Bill heard that Dave was taking the plunge a second time, he suggested that he sky dive into the park carrying a sign reading: "DAVE, DON'T DO IT!" However, Bill chickened out and decided against it for fear he'd get arrested for such an off-course jump into a NY State park. Denny Meyer and Rob Sigond, both FEP grads in attendance of the wedding, were encouraging him to do it anyway. Charlie Pond (FEP-1978) would have been Bill's jump pilot.
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