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Where Do Field Engineers Go To Retire?

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Field Engineers have many choices about where they will go to retire. Usually it is south or west, in search of warmer climes. But not all of us do so. Read about the advantages and disadvantages of some places.

You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where... you are willing to park three blocks away because you found shade....you can drive for four hours in one direction and never leave town....you have more than 100 recipes for Mexican food....you know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door....the 4 seasons are.....tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

Or you can retire to California where... you make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house....the fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.... you know how to eat an artichoke....you drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party....when someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is....the four seasons are.....Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought

*Or you can retire to New York City where... you say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.... you can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map....you think Central Park is "nature."...you believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual....you've worn out a car horn (if you have a car).... you think eye contact is an act of aggression.

Or you can retire to Maine where... you only have four spices.....salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco....Halloween costumes fit over parkas....you have more than one recipe for moose....sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons....the four seasons are.....winter, still winter, bad skiing and road construction.

Or you can retire to the Deep South where... you can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store...."y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural...."he needed killin" is a valid defense....everyone has two first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc....everything is either "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder." It's important to know the difference, too. Or you can retire to Colorado where........you carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car....you tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and so he stops at the daycare center....a pass does not involve a football or dating....the top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

Or you can retire to the Midwest where... you've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name....your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor....you have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day....you end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"...when asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"

Or you can retire to Florida where... you eat dinner at five o'clock in the afternoon....all purchases include a coupon of some kind
even houses and cars....everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist....road construction never ends anywhere in the state....cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.

Or you can retire to Chicago where... you can remain active in politics after you are dead.

Or you can retire Lake Placid, NY where... There are four seasons:

  1. Rock Skiing. 2. Finally a bit Better Skiing (but not like Utah). 3. Name change from Whiteface to Iceface Mountain. 4. Slush Skiing (confused sometimes with Rock Skiing).

In Lake Placid, you hope the tourists come, spend lotsa money but don't stay very long. Mud Month is late March through early April (stay away). Money month for rentals you may own is July not January. We have two weeks of Horse Shows and one week of Ironman. Come in the fall: Beautiful and nobody comes except for Columbus Day weekend.

Created by dlucier
Last modified Saturday, Nov-13-2010 05:39 PM
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